By: Michele Stutz

He ain’t ready…

He ain’t ready…

He ain’t ready…

For the BALLLLL . I’m tired of thinking that I’m not a skilled quarterback.

I have strength, I have competitiveness, I have intelligence, I have mobility, and I have a strong “RELEASE”. A release in football is when the quarterback brings her arm forward and lets the ball loose. Let’s look at this word release just a bit more. Release, to allow the ability to move, act, or flow freely. Release, to set free. This is what you do when your man cheats. Set yourself free. OK, I can say this now but not too long ago, I felt like my entire universe crumbled. I was being cheated on. At first, I think I was shocked, and then blameful toward myself. What did I do to drive him to the arms of another woman?

I don’t know if I started comparing relationships to football because as a young girl with no brothers, my dad and I bonded over football, or maybe because it is the one sport that seems to bring men together in a way that I haven’t seen with other sports. Whatever the case, I started to imagine a world of relationships like a game of football. Discovering that your guy is cheating is one of the cruelest betrayals you can ever suffer. The person you chose to trust implicitly threw your trust away as if it meant nothing to them, as if you meant nothing to them.

HE was my offensive line. He was the strength and backbone in my times of need. But instead of blocking for me, I was blindsided. I was tackled, hit, attacked left lying on the field. It left my head spinning, and I was certain I had a concussion. No medication, not even the strongest of painkillers could take away the pain I felt. I wish I could have had some type of concussion protocol where my sisters had a set of policies, tools, and assessments for caring for my concussion. It would outline how they would care for me while also confirming what a bastard he was. But instead, I was just left on injury reserve wandering what I was going to do.

Ok, I know it sounds awful, but at first, I did try to fight for my position. I mean, we were a good team (or so I thought). Yeah, we both dropped some passes here and there, but doesn’t everyone? Here is where I had to decide if I wanted to work on things or make me some lemonade, or should I say Gatorade?

I was still on injury reserve for quite some time, but during my therapy, I started writing my own playbook. My own set of rules for the kind of relationship I wanted to be in, and I have an advantage because I know what it feels like to lose and what I need in order to win. I started with four rules to my game.

Rule 1: Playing Field – Can be anywhere and everywhere.

Rule 2: Number of Players – 2 (unless I decide I want more!)

Rule 3: Standard Equipment Applies

Rule 4: I’m my own referee

If he can’t abide by these rules….na na na na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye….

Top 5 things to remember when he cheats

  1. Eenie Meenie miny mo….caught him cheatin…time to go!
  2. How can I block him in real life?
  3. If I throw a ball, maybe he will fetch it and go away.
  4. HE is the reason for the losing season.
  5. Once a cheater…always a repeater…#NEPatriots

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